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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?